Oscar Nuñez said:
Dear Fernando, so I draw your attention to paragraph 10 where he comments
10) Blaming the other for what I did or did not comply, it is not justice. It is giving power to the other, assuming as a victim, and disappear as being "autonomous."
refractivity that blame the other can make me disappear as being "autonomous" and that failure to take care of me, I choose to commit myself to my "ego" and give him control of myself and do the other, of course, as I do this to me!.
Now as for the other "failed" with the conditions of satisfaction "promised", I understand that the claim to another, not the fault of another, I committed to an observer and was legitimate to me and the other as other .
no longer a question of "me" is equal to not want me, but this is my being consistent com make and declare my dissatisfaction with what you like another you commit to do.
makes me responsible for not victim, so that the guilt and shame will not be invited.
Thanks for the invitation to reflection. Oscar Nuñez
Fernando Sáenz Ford says
Dear Oscar: I say Item 10 is an invitation to you responsibility as the plants.
(10: Blaming the other for what I did or did not comply, it is not justice. It is giving power to the other, assuming as a victim, and disappear as being "autonomous.")
think I would therefore agree to you plant the distinction between "me" or "failed."
- "I did ": no explicit promise. It has to do with my expectations on the other, or simply a fortuitous circumstance where I am concerned with doing the other. For example I bump the car. Before an accident or an expectation not fulfilled, I can operate from the emotionality of the blame, saying "I did it," losing autonomy. Or I can run from responsibility, autonomy, and maintaining the commitment to respect my wishes and preferences.
- " not fulfilled" promise is explicit. If the promise was coordinated in clear terms (who, how, when), and the other did not comply, I can operate consistently with the guilt. Bring with me to say a whole emotional world of guilt that arises is the requirement, the control, subjugation and manipulation, losing the core of what we wanted to happen, and therefore my autonomy. In this emotionally available actions are the complaint, anger, resentment, hearing, etc..
course to an incomplete promise, I can operate in the coherence of the responsibility of the observer given by the assertion valid that there is no reality independent of the observer. We bring an emotional world that emerges from liability, where the other appears as legitimate other in coexistence with me, even when non-compliance. In this emotional actions that are available are responsible for the claim, the reconfiguration of the promise, forgiveness, and even the ending of a relationship, either, work, couple, family or community friendly.
For example:
1st case: Stephen direct collaborator of Alexander, fails to deliver the report on the sales of product "X" during the month of September. Alejandro talks to Stephen about the consequences of non compliance, the breakdown in trust, and the delay in the analysis of the projections that Alexander has to give to your Regional Manager. Converse
setting a context, psychological or niche, where both are legitimate, assuming the consequences of failed action coordination. This may include a decrease in score on the quarterly performance review of Stephen, and a request for extension of time of Alexander to the Regional Manager to present projections.
2nd case: Esteban Alejandro direct collaborator, fails to deliver the report on the sales of product "X" during the month of September. Alejandro scolded, do not ask for anything again, Stephen speaks ill of other pairs, and justifies the ineffectiveness of Esteban its own delay in presenting the projections of the month at the Regional Manager. Of course I will report in the quarterly report. Stephen fights back, tries to explain, but not accepted his explanation. Stephen feels misunderstood, and recent. Emotionality in the company becomes a dialogue with Alejandro, creating a context, a psychological niche where only grow what is consistent with that niche: reactive action. Each responds by saying, doing or not doing the other, losing their autonomy.
Dear Oscar, thank you very much for your feedback
Greetings Fernando Sáenz Ford
0 comments:
Post a Comment